


Let Me Count The Ways

by 27summer



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 12:28:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17080334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/27summer/pseuds/27summer
Summary: Quinn can't help but count Rachel's kisses.





	Let Me Count The Ways

The first time Rachel kissed her, Quinn was borderline unconscious.

Quinn felt soft lips on her hand as her eyes blinked open and she tried to focus. She could hardly move, she hurt all over… And Rachel was holding her hand. Rachel was apologizing desperately and Quinn wanted to comfort her but she couldn’t manage it. All she could do was feel Rachel kiss her hand. Instead, she closed her eyes and fell back to sleep. Hopefully, Rachel would still be there when she woke up.

\-----------------------

The second time Rachel kissed her was at graduation.

Quinn had been hugged by what seemed like a hundred people when Rachel grabbed her tightly. She pressed her lips to Quinn’s cheek and squealed. “We did it, Quinn!”

“Yeah, we did.” Quinn squeezed Rachel back, a little dazed. She wasn’t in anyway prepared to deal with the feelings Rachel stirred up in her. A simple press of lips made her heart race madly. She needed some distance from Rachel or she wasn’t ever going to get over her. And yet, she had spent a ton of money on Metro North cards so that they could visit each other.

Quinn shook her head at herself. She was such a masochist. But she just couldn’t help herself when it came to Rachel.

\--------------------

The next time Rachel kissed her came years later.

After those Metro North cards went mostly unused, Quinn had managed to cut herself off from Rachel. She had dated other people, back slid into using guys to perfect her image, and finally came out and accepted who she was.

Quinn had been certain that she had moved on. Surely, she could spend time with Rachel again. Surely, she wasn’t still hung up on Rachel. Surely, she could listen to Rachel fawn over Jesse and it wouldn’t kill her. Of course she was wrong. She was still as crazy over her as she ever was.

Quinn had been polite, tamping down on her natural desire to roll her eyes at Jesse and the stars in her eyes Rachel had for him. She’d made it through the weekend and made plans in her head to never do this again.

And then, Rachel kissed her cheek good bye as she left to catch her train. And Quinn was back to being a swooning seventeen year old with a hopeless crush. And she knew she was not going to be able push herself away from Rachel. Not again.

\--------------

The fourth time Rachel kissed her, Quinn was almost completely out of it.

The flu shot had been totally useless and Quinn had been knocked on her butt with sickness. For three days, she’d been buried under a pile of blankets, trying to will herself back to health.

And the, Rachel arrived to fuss over her. Quinn had to fight against herself because she loved that feeling. Loved Rachel worrying over her. It felt wonderful.

Rachel looked at her with soft eyes as she brushed the hair back from Quinn’s forehead and kissed her gently. And Quinn’s heart raced once again. She was ridiculous but she couldn’t help falling even harder every time Rachel did something nice for her. Something that seemed special, directed especially for her. It only made her hopes go higher when there was really no reason for it. But it was the only thing she could do. She adored Rachel and couldn’t stop it.

\------------------------

The first time Quinn kissed Rachel, she was infuriated.

Quinn had answered her door to find Rachel in tears. She pulled her close and listened as Rachel explained how she caught Jesse cheating on her. Quinn’s blood boiled. She wanted to go to New York and pummel Jesse for breaking Rachel’s heart. But she knew that wouldn’t help. So she kept Rachel in her arms, pressing kisses into her hair. She whispered words of comfort, feeling completely helpless. All she wanted was to make Rachel happy but she couldn’t. All she could do was hold onto her and hope that she was helping. At least a little bit.

\-----------------

The fifth time Rachel kissed her was in public.

It was opening night to Rachel’s play at NYADA and Quinn had surprised her by showing up with flowers. The look of delight on Rachel’s face was better than almost anything else. Rachel grabbed her, hugging her tightly. Quinn gulped in air as Rachel buried her face in her neck and pressed kisses there. She hoped Rachel couldn’t feel her heart face. She had no idea how she would explain her reaction. But she wanted to enjoy having Rachel in her arms for a little longer. It was the best feeling.

\-------------------

The first time Rachel kissed Tony in front of her, Quinn knew something had to change.

Quinn had known it was coming, Rachel had begun to mention his name every time they talked. And to be fair, Tony seemed to be a good guy. He was kind and didn’t push Rachel into to anything. And he clearly adored her. But that didn’t mean it didn’t break Quinn’s heart.

And Quinn knew she couldn’t watch, couldn’t be on the outside looking in anymore. She couldn’t just be friends with Rachel anymore. She had thought that she’d be able to do it but she couldn’t. It hurt too much. It was time to separate from Rachel. Even thought that would be incredibly painful as well. But Quinn knew this was the right decision. She would start to resent Rachel if she didn’t. And she definitely didn’t want to start treating Rachel badly again. She would absolutely hate herself if she did. So no more Rachel in her life. Even if it killed her.

\-----------------------

The sixth time Rachel kissed her was two months later.

Quinn had managed to avoid seeing Rachel for the past two months. It was difficult but she avoided her phone calls, ignored her texts, and deleted her voice mails. She hadn’t wanted to be so cruel about it but Quinn knew if she didn’t cut her off completely, she’d give in. And watching Rachel fall in love with a new guy would hurt too much.

But Rachel was sick of Quinn evading her and had shown up at her apartment. And she was mad.

“Rachel, I-”

“Don’t. Just don’t.” Rachel pushed her way past Quinn into the apartment. “Just tell me why.”

“I’ve been busy,” Quinn said weakly.

“For two months?” Rachel asked incredulously. “Give me a break. I’m not stupid. What did I do to make you ignore me?”

“Nothing. It’s not you. It’s me.” Quinn sighed.

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Tell me the truth. You’re obviously. Mad at me.”

“I’m not. I promise I’m not. It’s- I- I- I just needed some space,” Quinn finally said.

“From me. Why?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“I do. That’s why I’m here asking you,” Rachel said flatly.

“Just drop it. Please.”

“No. I deserve to know why.”

“I- I can’t. Please, Rachel,” Quinn pleaded.

“Fine. I can’t make you doing anything you don’t want to do. Just don’t expect me to forgive you for cutting me off like this,” Rachel said.

“Rachel, it’s-”

“I’m not going to beg you to be my friend. I’m not pathetic.”

“I don’t think that.” Quinn shook her head.

“Well, what’s the problem?” Rachel demanded.

“I can’t,” Quinn said weakly.

“Screw you, Quinn.” Rachel spun around to leave.

“Rachel, I love you!” Quinn shouted. “Oh, shit.”

“You don’t love me. Not if you’re treating me like this.”

“You don’t get it.” Quinn staked across the room, grabbing Rachel’s hand and spinning her around. “I don’t mean I love you like a friend. I mean I’m in love with you.”

“What?” Rachel asked, confusion on her face.

“I’ve felt this way for so long and it’s just too hard, Rach. I thought I could be you friend and that would be enough. And it would be but- I can’t watch you fall in love with Tony. It hurts.”

“Tony? Quinn, that-”

“No, Rachel. I know that makes me selfish but-”

“Quinn, it’s not-”

“I’m awful and-”

Rachel closed the distance between them and covered Quinn’s mouth with her own. Quinn froze, not believing this was actually happening. Rachel pulled away, looking up at Quinn. “You’re an idiot, Quinn.”

“What?” Quinn gazed at her, unsure about what just happened.

“You should have talked to me.” Rachel cupped Quinn’s cheek. “I ended things with Tony a few weeks after you started avoiding me.”

“You did?” Quinn tried not to get her hopes up, but Rachel was looking at her like she had always wanted her to.

“Yes. I- I realized that the things I like about him are the things that remind me of you. And- and I missed you. We weren’t talking and it hurt, Quinn. And I-” Rachel stroked Quinn’s cheek. “I have all these feelings for you. I want to be with you, Quinn.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Quinn asked as her eyes filled with happy tears.

“I wanted to but you were ignoring me.” Rachel wiped away Quinn’s tears.

“Oh. You’re right. I am an idiot,” Quinn said sheepishly.

“My idiot.”

“Yours?” Quinn raised an eyebrow.

“If you want to be,” Rachel said sweetly.

“Oh, I do.” Quinn leaned down to kiss Rachel, thrilled that she actually could.

\-----------------

Quinn stopped counting Rachel’s kisses after that.

Because there were too many. Quinn had Rachel in her life the way she’d always wanted. And it was even better than she had imagined it could be.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a really different writing experience for me. I'm not sure if I like it but thanks for reading.


End file.
